Driving for your life

I'll be honest with you, when I first faced the prospect of driving I was a little apprehensive. After all, this is something I should have done way back in the 1990s, a time long before the iPod and high-speed broadband. Goodness, back then I still believed all gorgeous, long-legged blondes named Britney that I had cyber sex with were what they seemed, and not truckers from Adelaide named Big Jed - but then again, what did I know? I was sans license in those days. Alas, all that has changed now and I'm well on my way to becoming a John Q. Nobody on the road. The early twenties phobia of driving is long behind me and I'm ready and eager to start my own midnight drag club.

For the life of me, I can't remember why I found the idea of driving so terrifying in the first place - minus images of horrific accidents every time I would drive with certain friends (looking in your direction. Mr. Mathews), whatever the case, I found myself receeding into a life spent moving the car from behind a control pad rather than the steering wheel. However, it turns out that my years of Xbox and all-round suburban Bumdom did yield some precursive tools which I now find help me on the road: renegade drivers and small children running out in traffic are not dissimilar to the infected zombies of Resident Evil parts one and three (not so much the second one), in that both scenarios require you to slow down, address the hazard and give way if necessary.

Not only has my many years of gaming given me the abilty to aviod harazards - be it fresh-eaters ,stray pets or otherwise - but it has also bestowed upon me a way of looking at the roads that your average "I just turned 18, look at me" driver (or child born after 1987 for that matter) could never hope to achieve. I refer to the following image taken from today's lesson.

Note, I still have all my lives and have already equalled the high score...

Pending I don't have to park off any moving logs and past any jaw-gaping crocodiles, I may be the safest driver in the world. Well, that is, the safest driver in the world in the event that zombies do eventually take over...

and God willing, they will.