Hands up everyone that has had an Appendectomy

Funny how you can go from a glass of milk at 9.30, roll on the floor for two hours, roll on a gurney in the ER for nine hours and still remember to take some ridiculous pictures for your blog when you finally get hooked up to The Machine.

Morphine says "make it so!"

Here's a poem I composed to shorten the experience but to sustain the order of facts into nine lines:

Pain
Oh, Pain
Emergency room
Pain
Searing horrible pain
Emergency room
...and then finally,
an attractive doctor felt me up!

Slam Dunk

From being admitted on Saturday night, I wouldn't see the sweet, sweet relief (however brief) of the surgeons knife until 4am Monday morning. Then, dosed up, I was back in the sactuary of my bed for 6pm that very night...

...only to be back in hospital eight hours later for another round with the white coats when things went belly up - I'm so glad Steve Bracks spends more money on sms voting for Australian Idol than Health Care.

People, if you don't vote your Idol won't win!

Oh, well, at least it gave me time to grow this poor man's imitation of a Nate Fisher beard:

Apologies to everyone who thought I was dead for not answering phones calls, MSN messages, smoke signals and the front door. I'm back home, still in the worst pain ever, but and high as a mofo.

P.S. Big ups to the nursing staff at the Austin. Each and everyone of you is as skilled and attractive as Brett's father's VHS tapes led us to believe.