Don't laugh, It's a serious problem, Baby

I was thinking earlier tonight of the old adage that the average male thinks of sex once every seven seconds. Immediately I thought of sex. Then I thought of sex again...

and then again...

….but after about 20-25 minutes of catholic school girls playing a naughty game of Twister, I realized that I probably thought about sex closer to seven times each second.

Concerned by these figures I spent the next two hours taking online sex surveys, to assure myself I'm part of the "lie back and think of England" status quo. I won't bother linking any of the quizzes as a Google search will yield more than enough for a thorough diagnosis, but suffice to say, if your thoughts are anything like mine you may expect a reading like this:

* You should consult your General Practitioner about your sex addiction.

(Note: apprently it is healthy to see Margret Thatcher, John Major, James Callaghan and other former Prime Ministers of the U.K. in the following ink blots:

- Am I the only one turned on by these? You dirty tart number three)

Terrified, questions started to circulate my smutty little brain: “what’s wrong with me, surely I’m not in the not that far gone that I would be called an addict?” and “Holy Jesus, what can I do about this?”

I continued to take a more of these tests with similar results, until eventually I realized that many of them were run by private sex addiction clinics and almost always recommended help at one of their clinics. I guess that's what they call synergy in the big city.

Of course, there were a few tests I took that arrived at the same perverted conclusions, but by that time I had found the picture of this guy on one of the respected sites; and if he’s out there, I know I’ve still got some time to go before I join Sex Addicts Anonymous.

...Then again it could be a sound place to meet women???